I struggled with polyamory. I’m not saying that it can’t work. I know several people who it seems to work for. It does not however work for me. I’m not judging.
While I was trying to make it work. Craigslist was my primary mine for companionship, like I had mentioned. It was the only actual success I had in meeting people since I met my first wife. I left the Second behind to start my new life on the 8th of January. I shaved my beard down to my mustache. I also placed an ad on Craigslist. While trying to make poly work, I noted that pagans of varying stripes seemed more open to the idea than others, as did kinky people.
I’ve always had some interest in BDSM. The Second always claimed that she did too, but she insisted on being dominant in her daily life, but wanted to be submissive in the bedroom. That didn’t really work for me.
I just left my Second wife, I was feeling like a failure. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, I was just wanting to blow off some steam. The ad I put out was for a submissive. I placed it and kind of forgot about it.
There were the few spam responses you would expect, but on the 10th I got a response from an actual human. By this time I knew some things about myself, like I’m demisexual. If I don’t have an emotional connection, not much is going to happen whether I might want it to or not, like I said previously. I expected we might scene, we might play, but beyond that I had no expectations and I wasn’t looking for a relationship.
We started out slow. We emailed some getting to know you things for a week or so, then we moved into some light D/s. All by correspondence. By the time this happened I was actually working the new job and if I recall I was in California, while she was back in Montana.
My plan for homelessness was that I would save about $75 a week for meals and a hotel when I came home to see my kids. It’s cheaper than an apartment I wouldn’t need and served my needs just fine. January the 26th was the first time I came home. I saw my kids like I planned. I also actually met for the first time the woman I would come to call pet.
We had what amounted to a date with some light sceneing and she stayed with me at my hotel.
As expected not much happened. We had a good time we made a bit of a connection.
The following month when I came home that connection was undeniable and was obvious to both of us. We were dating, now.
She had some problems with her living situation,, this spilled over into her worklife. It was a mess. This was pretty scary for me, the wounds of my separation were still very fresh. We ended up getting an apartment together. We tried to keep things pretty professional and detatched, we didn’t know each other that well, and we had no idea whether our dating was even a good idea. We decided that we could probably be roomates if we didn’t work out, at least for a period of time. This was also just after the Second decided to leave me high and dry. So I was wary of being taken advantage of again.